Relax. TB Joshua’s Prophecy About American Election Was Right

Hahahaha! That was a sarcastic heading! It was made to make you laugh it off! The brother called TB Joshua goofed big time. If he had any modicum of self-respect left, he should wind up his church business and disappear from public life totally. But he won’t for a single reason. He has a large drove of sheeples who would do anything but abandon their idol. He remains in business and will keep remaining in business for their sake.

This uncle predicted that Hilary Clinton would win the US election. Well, that wasn’t anything special. A prophecy (aka supernaturally tagged prediction) is supposed to tell us what we don’t know or expect. Or why prophesy to me that I will sleep tonight or have my bath tomorrow? The whole world already expected that Hilary Clinton would win. We didn’t need his prophecy. He would’ve just kept quiet. Nothing would’ve been broken. But because fraudsters like him always spew these things to keep their sheep leashed to their stables, he decided to say something. That’s how they remain in business. Just like musicians that just keep releasing songs to stay relevant, these pastorpreneurs can’t stop doing things to keep themselves in the limelight. Prophecies about global events are one way of achieving that, a cheap way at that.

The prophecy goof made global headlines including this BBC one. And in total, millions of social media write-ups mocked TB Joshua all across West Africa. So sincerely, this article wasn’t necessary. This is a dead issue that doesn’t need further flogging but there’s a part that we haven’t talked about. That’s what I want to talk about — the aspect of his followers who defended him before the goof became apparent and even after it became apparent.

There’s a psychological problem with spiritual beliefs. You hold a belief without any proof and throughout the part of your life when you hold the belief, proofs to the contrary keep surfacing but you keep denying them and deceiving yourself. It’s a tough life. I understand. I’ve been there, done that. It’s exactly trying to abandon the simple life for the continually dodgy, complex life. It’s a hard life I must say and living that way always takes its toll on your psychological health.

And we need to worry about this group of people, especially when they are so many around. I’m happy for those whose eyes are gradually beginning to open to the fact that these fellas are nothing but fraudsters. I’ve done an article on TB Joshua before (click here to read it) and I shouldn’t be talking about him anymore but I can’t but say something about these followers.

The televangelist has infamously deleted the social media post that contained the prophecy goof but the followers still continue to bring up all manners of inane attempts to defend this preacher and his god. I saw so many and I have generated a small list. Following are some of the funniest ones I’ve seen. I’ve chosen to cover the identities of some of them who are close to me.

‘Nothing is impossible for the god of TB Joshua’

This one was before the final result was announced. TB Joshua must be correct and thus, god must perform the miracle of making him correct. Even though it was appearing like what he (god) told TB Joshua would fall to the ground, this guy still believed that there was nothing impossible for god. Well, he realized soon enough as the election result was announced in few hours. Lol!

Nothing is impossible for the god that gave TB Joshua the prophecy

Nothing is impossible for the god that gave TB Joshua the prophecy

‘TB Joshua and his god are uneducated’

Hehehehehe….you know what I’m talking about. TB Joshua is correct because he didn’t know anything about the electoral college. His god told him about what would happen in the future (who would win the election) without first of all enlightening him about what was already happening in the present (the electoral college that has existed for centuries). TB Joshua’s god is wicked. He intentionally wanted to shame TB Joshua. Or he’s as ignorant as his god? He and his god could predict the future but were ignorant of the present. I’ve never seen a god and its servant being so uneducated!

TB Joshua was ignorant of the electoral college and his god failed to educate him before giving him the prophecy. Or perhaps the god was ignorant too?

TB Joshua was ignorant of the electoral college and his god failed to educate him before giving him the prophecy. Or perhaps the god was ignorant too?

‘God does change his mind just like us mere mortals’

This one is interesting. TB Joshua’s prophecy was correct but god changed his mind for whatever reason. The unchangeable changer (as it’s often called) changed his mind, as in repented just like he repented in Genesis 6:6. There you have it. God can actually change his mind. He wanted Clinton to win and correctly told TB Joshua but because he wanted to shame TB Joshua, he changed his mind and chose not to inform TB Joshua. Wicked God that left his faithful servant out in the chilling cold!

God is actually like us mere mortals. He can change his mind after giving a prophecy and forget to update his servant on the change or plans.

God is actually like us mere mortals. He can change his mind after giving a prophecy and forget to update his servant on the change of plans.

This one here covers all prophecies. If it comes to pass, the prophet was right. If it doesn’t, the prophet was still right. God just changed his mind without filling his servant in on the sudden change of plans. LOL 

‘Donald Trump Asked For Mercy and Received Mercy’

OK. That sounds stupid looking at Donald Trump who is perhaps an atheist. Anyway, god doesn’t change his mind except when he lets mercy constrain him. Lol. And when that even happens, he forgets to inform his servant once again. 

Mercy said 'No!' LOL

Mercy said ‘No!’ LOL

‘God likes to dodge even from his servant’

This defence says god likes to play hide-and-seek. He doesn’t want to be predictable by mere mortals. And he doesn’t even want his prophets to predict him accurately because once that happens, he stops being god and he doesn’t want to stop being god. So he serves his people big dummies. Hahahahahaha….So he was going to make Donald Trump win but he told us Hilary instead. God is a liar? Anyway, there’s no need for prophecies then. Henceforth, don’t let’s take prophecies seriously as they can just be god’s dummies, more like Cristiano Ronaldo’s legovers. You never know. Once again, LOL! 

God likes to emulate Cristiano Ronaldo by serving us dummies and legovers. LOL

God likes to emulate Cristiano Ronaldo by serving us dummies and legovers. LOL

‘A woman can still be POTUS’

The foolish optimism wasn’t only restricted to the period prior to the announcement of the election. For some sheeples, it still continued even after Donald Trump was declared president-elect. TB Joshua can still be right. What if Donald Trump died a day before his inauguration and Hilary got sworn-in instead? With god, all things are possible, including the most atrocious, especially with a god that doesn’t mind killing people and carrying out all manners of tragedies just to achieve his promises that have been made from the mouths of its servants! He can do the most terrible stuff just to prove his servants right. 

TB Joshua can still be right. Hilary can still be POTUS.

TB Joshua can still be right. Hilary can still be POTUS.

‘A prophecy is not your mate’

When they don’t have anything else to buttress their position with, they resort to threats. This comedian simply came out to tell us that we should stop mocking TB Joshua because we might just be struck dead by god’s anger. Reminds me of Oyedepo’s ‘wrath of God’ threat last week. Threat of violence to the rescue! LOL 

Prophecy is not your mate. LOL

Prophecy is not your mate. LOL


OK. Let me give you some bonus extras. These ones aren’t really about TB Joshua but they’re still some of the most stupid things Nigerian Christians have said about this US election.

‘God let Hilary lose because of Obama’s gay right policies’

Ok. God doesn’t like gays. Obama likes gays. So god let Obama Hilary lose the election because of gays. How dumb can these Christians sound! Of course, I know the logic — god punishes someone because of another person’s sins. Like he let the innocent children of Job die because of an experiment on their father. Like he killed the innocent kids of Egypt because of what their fathers did to the Israelites. Stupid!

You will lose an election if not you but someone else loves gays. Sounds legit. LOL

You will lose an election if not you but someone else loves gays. Sounds legit. LOL

‘9/11’

This one here is scriptural. God let terrorists attack America because he wanted Americans to learn that the battle is not to the strong. And he let Donald Trump win too because he wanted the whole world to know that the race is not to the swift, Hilary being the swift this time around. Hahahahahaha…..

This verse should be America’s motto then. But can we use Ecclesiastes 11:9 instead of 9:11? LOL

Ecclesiastes 9:11 decided everything about America! Shouldn't that be made into their motto?

Ecclesiastes 9:11 decided everything about America! Shouldn’t that be made into their motto?

‘The number 45’

You see. The scriptures are a piece of numerological literature. As the numbers 9/11 have scriptural significance for the US election, so does the number 45. I’m just wondering why it’s Isaiah 45 and not Psalm 45. Can we ever see the end to the stupidity of religitards?

Can we see the end of this stupidity? 45 what?!

Can we see the end of this stupidity? 45 what?!


Anyway, there you have it. A round up to lighten up your weekend. It seems like these pastors have drawn a roster of how they would be goofing one after the other. First it was Adeboye with ‘Don’t marry a girl that can’t cook’. Then Sam Adeyemi with ‘Mental illness is caused by sin’. Shortly after, it was Oyedepo with ‘The tuition fees in my university were approved by God’. And few days after, TB Joshua with the prophecy goof. Who knows who’s next: Chris Oyakhilome? Pastor Kumuyi? There’s still enough time this year for more to happen.

Perhaps god wanted these folks to goof so that your eyes can open and know that they’re fake. Perhaps he just wants you to realize that he doesn’t talk to any of them and thus you should stop investing your time and money on them, sacrificing your brain matter in the process. He that has ears, let him hear what reason is saying to all Nigerians ooooo. These guys are fake. Trust me.

People are desperate that they can go to any length to defend their pastors idols. They don’t even mind if they paint god as an unstable repentant jerk or an outright villainous psychopath once their pastor’s image is preserved. Anything to keep their pastor’s image is fine. Sometimes you wonder whether the stupidity of their god isn’t directly proportional to the level of the stupidity of the folks inventing the god for themselves. They keep spinning and spinning and spinning. That’s what happens to you when you choose to live a lifetime of believing something without proof. Please, which is easier: any of those tortuous, mesmerizing twists I highlighted above or simply just accepting that TB Joshua is a fraud?

I’m sure you know the answer. Enough said. I’ll never stop being worried about so many of my fellow citizens carrying these warped minds around. Till the intellectual landscape changes and we have far less minions around than we have right now, I can’t see any way forward for us as a nation.

Thank you for reading.

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7 Comments

  1. Anonymous November 13, 2016
  2. Anonymous November 11, 2016
  3. sas November 11, 2016
    • Gabriel November 14, 2016
  4. Olu November 11, 2016

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