For about two days now, a picture purportedly emanating from the Region 14 of the Redeemed Christian Church of God has gone viral. The hierarchical sacrificial form asking people to donate different amounts under different guises was exposed to the whole world. If you’re a ‘cheerful giver’, you should be fine, shouldn’t you? Well, the picture is somewhere below.
But this has drawn so much outrage from people. This time around, some people’s brains opened and I was impressed. Even people who are normally sheepish in their thinking were bold to criticize this time around. The daylight robbery was too glaring to stomach. So that Nigeria can be free from the clutches of these business empires defrauding people in God’s name, the most popular and most efficient hypnotizing name in the universe, I hereby declare that we shall be having more of these gaffes from these churches in Jesus’ mighty name. Amen! Did I just pray? Oh no!
Anyway, if all the things we’ve been saying couldn’t open your brains and you needed something like this to stimulate your common sense, then praised be God! But there were still some doubting Thomas’s. Very few though. They said it’s fake, that the RCCG couldn’t do anything like this. See your life outside? Some of us who have attended this church for some time know that this is not beyond this particular church to do. They’ve done worse before. They’ve asked us to drop our whole salaries for three months before. Yes. It happened in Osun Province 2, Region 3 of the church in January 2013. Of course, the Provincial Pastor acted on the instruction from Daddy G. O. to raise funds. And he that was a cheerful giver did it. He that wasn’t a cheerful giver like me didn’t. See. In these churches, the general overseers are always asking the lower pastors to raise money. Let me reserve that story for another article.
Back to the title of this article. Does God actually love a cheerful giver? Does he, uhn? That question has two parts. The first part talks about what God loves while the second part talks about ‘cheerful giver’. Well, I don’t know. I don’t know what he loves. I know that I know what my son loves because I see him physically everyday. He loves Disney Junior, Android phones, and fried rice. But God? Have I seen him before? Have I chatted with him before? How do I know what he loves?
Stop deceiving yourself. You don’t know what God loves. You’re only being told by someone else about what God loves. Since you were a kid, before you could even think for yourself, folks have told you what God loves. Of course, they too were told similarly. And so on and on ad infinitum. And that’s how since the beginning of religious belief thousands of years ago, humans have been telling one another what God allegedly loves. You don’t need anyone to tell you what your son likes. Why do you need to be told everyday what God loves? Yes. Your pastors know what God loves and they know he loves money. Can’t you smell a fraud?
Anyway, we’re digressing. A letter has been allegedly issued by the church, confirming the sacrificial form. They appeared to disown the pastor. ‘He acted without approval’, they said but they quickly contradicted themselves in the same letter with the ‘God loves a cheerful giver‘ thing. Oh no! Error! Picture vigilantes catching a thief stealing yam and they bring him to his father and his father goes ‘Well, I didn’t ask him to go and steal yam this time around even though I don’t mind someone’s yam being stolen‘. The social media is the vigilantes. The thief is the pastor in question. And the RCCG is the thief’s father. Do you understand what I’m saying? In the days before the advent of social media, this kind of thing would’ve happened and he wouldn’t have been said to have acted ‘without approval‘. Are you with me?
Remember we can never know what God loves. We only need to tell one another what he loves. So let’s see what another person told us that God wants. Oya, let’s open our Bibles:
2 Corinthians 9:7 (KJV) Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
So let’s use Paul’s advice. This sacrificial form is in line with this scripture, isn’t it?
One, just as it’s said in the disclaimer letter, the sacrificial form has not forced anyone to give. You may decide not to even honor the sacrificial form. It’s for those who can afford it, isn’t it? So it’s for a cheerful giver who has purposed in his heart. Someborri shout Halleluyah! And there are different cadres. You’re free to choose the one that suits your heart
purpose, isn’t it? So it’s scriptural.
And that’s how church giving goes. They don’t say tithes are compulsory. They don’t say offerings are compulsory. In reality, no pastor has ever said every church member must give! But this is the best way to catch sheep. Give them an illusory sense of control and free will. Let them feel like they have the freedom to choose when in reality, they don’t.
In reality, there’s no cheerful giver in church. In reality, no giving in church requires a cheerful giver. All church givings are forceful coercion. They’re just disguised to deceive the gullible.
Let’s talk about what free cheerful giving looks like. When a stranger comes to you for help, that’s cheerful giving. When you donate to an NGO, that’s free cheerful giving. When NYSC members come to you for donations towards a community development project, that’s free cheerful giving.
There are two levels of subtle compulsion to give in church. One, social. Two, imaginary (the one you call ‘spiritual’). There’s a reason why tithers are asked to stand up or come to the altar for prayers. It’s all psychology. It’s to make tithers feel good and to subtly shame non-tithers. There’s a reason why tithe cards are necessary to obtain some favours in the church. There are even times when they will ask those that don’t pay tithes to stand up for prayers: ‘Get up on your feet and tell God to give you the grace to be faithful in the area of tithes and to never defraud God of tithes again.’ You see now? Tell him to help you to not defraud him again. Process it in your brain. Take all the time in the world. Once you stand up in such a scenario, you’ve been tooled already. It’s the social compulsion. If you’re the type that gets socially manipulated cheaply, this one will work on you.
And here’s the imaginary compulsion. If you give, you will be blessed abundantly. If you don’t give, well, you’re not blessed. If you pay tithes, you’re blessed. If you don’t pay, devourers will be on your case. If that’s not compulsion, then tell me what is compulsion. OK. Let’s paint a few scenarios.
And that’s why people don’t do real free cheerful giving. It’s because it’s the real optional one. It’s because there’s nothing that constraints them to do it. But church giving? They can’t dodge the subtle compulsion. A five year-old kid, a bowl of ice cream, and a whip. If he chooses the bowl of ice cream, he will have the privilege of drinking it. If he chooses the whip, he will receive 20 strokes of the whip on his bum. But tell him he’s not under any compulsion to make any choice ooooo. Really?
OK. Take a 40 year-old man to a T-junction. If he goes to the right, he will be given $5,000. If he goes to the left, he will do a 5-year jail term. End by saying he’s not under any compulsion to choose ooooo. Let him be a cheerful chooser, right?
Should I say church is for those who can’t think? Ok. Don’t let me say so. But you know what I’m talking about. If you say someone will be blessed if they give but they’ll be defrauding God if they don’t, and you say they have the freedom to choose between giving and not giving, you’re simply playing on the intelligence of your audience. It’s a kind of scam that can’t work anywhere else but church where people suspend their thinking for whatever reason.
If you want real cheerful giving, go to the examples above. Those situations where people don’t need to be tantalized with a reward for giving or threatened with a punishment for not giving. Church and religion is about blackmailing anyway. Folks have been programmed to function by blackmailing. Psychological abuse. Serious one. Even if they’re to donate to an NGO, they still need to be promised of blessings before they do. That’s how they see everything in life. Reward. Punishment. Reward. Punishment. Reward. Punishment. They’ve been dummified. Dummies under remote control of reward-punishment schemes! What’s wrong with doing something just to help humanity not because of blessings or a curse? Ooohhhh…that’s for really philosophically advanced folks?
Well, do I have problems with rewards and punishments as motivations for our actions? No. For instance, I got an education to get the reward of education and to avoid the punishment of ignorance. It’s alright. Throw in your promises of reward and threats of punishments but don’t come around to talk about being a cheerful giver. There’s nothing like that. It’s only dummies that won’t pick the clear contradiction.
Same thing for heaven and hell. If you love me, you will enjoy forever with me in heaven. If you reject me, you will suffer forever in the fire. But I love you and the choice is yours. You have your free will to choose.
Yes ooo. If you want divine blessing, give a divine sacrifice (₦1 million+). That means if you don’t give the divine sacrifice, you may not benefit from the divine blessing. It’s not really compulsory. It’s only for someone that’s a cheerful giver.
Let me stop joor. You pipu wee not kee pesin with your church matter. Shior! I’m through for now and we will soon share the grace.
Just like when you’re approaching the end of the service in your church and your pastor climbs the pulpit for a few announcements, I also have some announcements to make. I have a few previous articles on this same issue that went viral. It will be good if you can read them for your spiritual (imaginary) growth. They’re all free of charge. You can read them without you dropping any sacrificial giving, OK?
To learn how pastors and church members contribute to the corruption in the land, click here to read ’10 Fantastically Corrupt Pastors and Church Members’
To know how much these pentecostal churches have destroyed Nigeria, click here to read the one titled ‘Poor Governance Forced Nigerians to Run to Their Gods’
To see how these pastors haven’t contributed anything tangible to this country, click here to read the one titled ‘These Men of God Are Unprofitable Investments’
To know better things you use your hard-earned money for, click here to read ‘6 Things You Should Use Your Money for Instead of Church Part 1’
To read the part 2 of that article, click here to read ‘6 Things You Should Use Your Money for Instead of Church part 2’
To understand how these pastors don’t deserve the private jets they’re using your money to buy and maintain, click here to read the one titled ‘Should Pastors Own Private Jets?’
To see why you should allow us to criticize these pastors, click here to read the one titled ‘Apostle Suleman’s Private Jet: Please, Allow Us to Criticize These Pastors’
P. S. As a skeptic, I actually entertain the possibility of these pictures being fake. Only time will tell us that. Observe the use of the word ‘alleged’ throughout this article. Some boys could’ve put these together in one corner but the language in these pictures is just the right specs. The contents of these pictures are typical things that happen in these churches and thus even if the pictures later end up being fake, every single point expressed in this article will still be valid.
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